No context iPad

Apple, at one of its periodic “look how great we are” events, has unveiled a new iPad Air. It’s the 5th generation model! It’s Star Trek: Enterprise!

I’m probably going to buy one to replace my iPad Air 2, which has served me well over the years, but is now on its last legs. It’s slow, turns itself off at random points, and last week the screen suddenly developed the weird affliction seen below. It’s great if you’re a fan of psychedelia, less so if you want to browse the web.

iPad screen showing various glitches, including incorrect colours and parts of previous screens remaining on screen

Apple’s marketing likes to tout the benefits of the iPad as a creative powerhouse, a complete system for work and play. Me, I use it mainly to browse the web and find memes to post on Twitter. Every time I see an amusing or strange photo, I save it in the library, ready to drop into an @-reply, clock up those likes and retweets, and release that sweet, sweet dopamine.

The thing is, half of the pictures I find, I never actually post for one reason or another. The photo library on my iPad is now full of stuff that has accumulated over the past seven years. I’m sure they would have made excellent Tweets, had I remembered to actually post them, but in many cases the reason I saved them is lost to time.

BUT… it seems a shame to waste all these images, so here for your entertainment is a selection from my iPad photo library. There is zero context for any of these images, because I don’t have any. Enjoy!

Lisa Simpson pulling a face

Data from Star Trek The Next Generation, saying "I can now look forward to death"

Plane featuring various meme characters sitting at the various seats

Adam Peaty pulling a weird face. His eyes have been photoshopped to look bigger than normal

Dog wearing a sailor hat riding on a submarine labelled "ANTI-HORNY SUBMARINE"

The doctor from Voyager, peering down at the camera waving a medical instrument. Caption reads "Shattered"

GIF of Jordan Pickford on his hands and knees

Simon McCoy in the BBC News studio, pulling a face

Conan O'Brien holding a sign with the Swedish flag and the text "Sweden Sucks!" printed on it

Bea Arthur giving a withering look

Screenshot of Mitchell and Webb "Quiz Broadcast" sketch, showing David Mitchell, in gameshow host attire, saying "The world would be a different place if we'd managed to keep even some of the children alive."

Screenshot from Star Trek The Next Generation showing Data answering a phone that is located in a hole on his chest.

Screenshot from "Last Week Tonight" with John Oliver in the studio. Photo behind him shows a picture of trains in a yard, with the word "TRAINS"

Diagram explaining satellite TV.  Shows a line from "TV Co" to "Ground Station" then up to a "Satellite" and back down to "Swindon"

Photo of a sheet of paper just come out of a printer, showing cricketer Freddie Flintoff with the caption "Freddie Print Off"

Brain (from "Pinky and the Brain") looking on the verge of bursting into tears

Counsellor Troi (from Star Trek The Next Generation) winking and pulling a face

Diesel (from "Thomas and Friends") rolling his eyes

The Pink Panther cartoon character, wearing a trenchcoat and hat and smoking a pipe

Screenshot from a TV show showing two men in the back of a car. One is saying "I draw the line at testicles"

Screenshot from a TV show of a woman and man in the back of a car. One of them is saying "My rear end feels like it's been pummelled for a good hour"

Screenshot from Super Mario Maker showing Luigi battling an end of level boss. Caption reads: "Can you grab Lemmy's balls? A: Nope"

Man standing in front of a large screen showing the word "SPITE" in large text

Screengrab from the Simpsons, showing Bart and Lisa looking up at the camera, pulling horrified/shocked faces

Fred Flinstone sitting in front of a computer, looking at the camera with a scowl on his face

Screenshot from a TV show, with a woman TV presenter pulling a weird face

Photo depicting several people in fursuits in a public toilet

Photo of Robert lying on his stomach, with his Cat, Max, sitting on him

Photo of two characters drawn in a 50s comic style, dancing and saying "Let's Get High! And Deny Christ!"

Photo of Taylor Lautner wearing a vest that says "Hampton Wrestling"

Photo of Niles Crane giving a disapproving look to his coffee companion

One thought on “No context iPad”

  1. The “cat on your back” photo is the sweetest thing I’ve seen this year. Love it!

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